tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86358565358070820292023-11-16T04:39:35.839-08:00Michaela Haze | British VloggerI am 24 years old and from the UK. I am an avid Samoyed lover with a passion for making youtube videos!MichaelaHazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10070690799260776137noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635856535807082029.post-25722499564727574792014-09-10T14:24:00.001-07:002014-09-10T14:24:43.877-07:00My Samoyed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, well, what do we have here?<br />
Just for anyone that is interested, you can get daily updates from me in instagram at<br />
www.instagram.com/michaelahaze<br />
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I post a lot of dog photos - be warned.<br />
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<br />MichaelaHazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10070690799260776137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635856535807082029.post-9146111414570429842014-09-10T14:16:00.000-07:002014-09-10T14:16:51.562-07:00Why am I Vegan?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You wouldn't expect this to be a question that is asked on a daily basis, but it is something that vegans have to answer more often than anything else I have encountered.</span></div>
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<b style="line-height: 20.8266677856445px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Why?</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s simple enough, really. However, it depends entirely on<b style="line-height: 20.8266677856445px;"> why</b> someone is asking that can change my perception of that person. Some people are curious, in a well-mannered way and would love an education on something that questions a part of life that so many consider to be normal.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Others… not so much.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Some people ask, “Why are you vegan?” with the same level of disgust as walking in dog’s mess. This depresses me and upsets me more than anything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I know being vegan is a choice, but once you are there more often than not it is not something that you will go back from. Once your eyes have opened, it’s very hard to go back to advocating suffering and death.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am aware that the majority of people reading this may not be vegan, and to them I may seem fanatical. I am not. This is the reasoning and thought process that allows someone to go vegan, to say no to suffering. If you believe that is ‘obsessive’ (like my mother *sigh*) then you need to analyse your actions very closely.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Killing is wrong.</span></div>
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<i style="line-height: 20.8266677856445px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Simple</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Torture is wrong.</span></div>
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<i style="line-height: 20.8266677856445px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Simple</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Why do these concepts seem alien when applied to animals?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">If someone killed your dog, I am pretty sure you would be beside yourself in misery. But, hey, killing that cute baby cow with the wide eyes so you can have a rug in your living room that smells like death – “hey! That’s okay!”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Many people are vegetarian for these reasons alone, but I am never someone to do things half-heartedly. Reading articles on how milk is taken and how silk worms are boiled alive, was enough to make me sick and to become an animal advocate. Why do people continue to take advantage of others, especially when they can’t pipe up and say “Hey Buddy! I don’t like that one bit”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">When an animal struggles when you try to ride it, when you try to milk it, when you try and take its baby so you can drink its milk – it’s viewed as okay. When honestly, it’s not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">There are so many reasons why I am vegan and in the beginning, they all seemed to correspond to whoever I was speaking to. Different people got a different reason.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Let’s just give some back story: I was a 23 year old woman who had a lot of bowel issues, IBS that meant that I spent almost every day in pain and was gaining weight so quickly that the doctor was about to put me through tests because they thought something was very wrong with me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I had just gotten my dog, a purebred Samoyed from a lovely lady that I still speak to everyday, and ate eggs and milk and copious amounts of blue cheese. My idea of a brilliant night out was stuffing my face full of Nando’s chicken.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I sat down one day to watch videos on youtube and ended up on the food production side, where I watched metallic robot hands softly caress pringles into their long cans, and jelly beans tumbling through large cement mixers. A joyous voiceover told me all about these exciting journeys and I was genuinely impressed with the amount of effort that went into this food production. Then came the animal videos. “How Bacon is made?”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Bacon isn’t made, it’s grown FYI. It’s flesh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The factory workers watched as racks of pigs trolleyed into the warehouse, hanging from their trotters, swinging as the machine jostled them on the rack. Their eyes were wide and their arms hung down. The voiceover explained everything in the same jovial manner. A complete disconnect between what I could clearly see, as if for the first time. These were once animals, the same animals that I would point at in a field and walk up to and let lick my hand.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My dog slept on my feet, warm and snug as I watched the horror. Something struck inside of my heart that day. I loved my dog more than anything, why didn’t I extend these animals the same courtesy. They could easily be a pet or have a name, but they didn’t. They were bred to be killed. No one should be alive simply for the purpose of dying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I first told the women at work, on my team. L*, who was a vegetarian of over 15 years, seemed shocked. Maybe this is where my slight prejudice of vegetarians comes from. She hadn’t consumed flesh for 15 years, but ate cheese every day. She didn't condone killing, but condoned extended suffering. All I can see when I think of cheese is baby cows that can’t have their mother’s milk. The rape racks to impregnate them so they keep lactating and all of the other horrors.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">L* didn't think I could do it to be honest. She had seen me eat so much chicken and other meat in my life that I sensed this superiority rolling off her in waves. She had been a veggie for 15 years, and now this meat eater had come along and said that she wasn't just giving up meat, but going the whole hog (haha) and becoming vegan?!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The second was H*, who told me that I was wrong about all of this cruelty in the milk industry. She knew someone that knew someone that owned a dairy farm and none of that EVER happened. Yeah…right… So much evidence and video footage must be wrong.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">C* told me that cows HAD to be milked or their udders exploded.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This immediately coloured my experiences of ‘coming out’ as vegan to others in the beginning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It became a source of shame. No one understood the excuse “I am doing it for the animals”, but they understood selfish reasoning such as “I am doing it for my health” or “I am doing it to lose weight”.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My dad still only accepts my veganism because without it, I would probably have such horrible IBS I would be confined to my home in the evenings as I was before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I came out on facebook, again citing health reasons and was so lucky that my friend Charlotte, who I had not spoken to in years, invited me to a closed group known as the vegan sanctuary. I felt at home, I felt empowered. I no longer felt this was something that I would probably fall away from (I have no willpower) and through them, I have carried on and prospered. Thanks to them, I am educated and confident about my choice to not harm or take advantage of animals.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope I gave some insight to others today of why I am vegan and I hope to all of you omnivores out there don’t think I am preaching but instead can listen and respect my choices. In the same way that I won’t knock a bacon sandwich out of your hands, don’t knock the celery out of mine.</span></div>
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MichaelaHazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10070690799260776137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635856535807082029.post-6883581697307719552014-09-02T12:02:00.001-07:002014-09-02T12:02:57.250-07:00My Vegan Tshirt<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMyd6291qZ7S8J5Ml0MZvWzLNHdnFx4PqNIvQb3A_sMv2Zp5jiW5RhdEF_DLe3Tvu6qCtxjBmyXYMcTbN7Z5Z_w1OtYgs0lH7W-qOBlGOeZofdZNFZ3cRyrgzjXPOH5VBMDPc8t4q2GTM/s640/blogger-image-1342735403.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMyd6291qZ7S8J5Ml0MZvWzLNHdnFx4PqNIvQb3A_sMv2Zp5jiW5RhdEF_DLe3Tvu6qCtxjBmyXYMcTbN7Z5Z_w1OtYgs0lH7W-qOBlGOeZofdZNFZ3cRyrgzjXPOH5VBMDPc8t4q2GTM/s640/blogger-image-1342735403.jpg"></a></div><div><br></div>Hello my gorgeous friends!<div><br></div><div>I have just received my brand new vegan themed tshirt in the post today and I am beyond thrilled. I thought I would post some photos for you all to enjoy. </div><div><br></div><div>Mickey</div><div>X</div><div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVA65Zi6vGdsv38GvzMz8CClw6j2qBoB9__tdU1AnDK0mNDUjW5js4FAhsgIPHL8oDEW3kKOoWdfGxABdH_rmgrwZ0FilSgU_b7ivXPyHwM9ocEVVFWz8Gro1vZkyZSXzRULTUFrw5Ag/s640/blogger-image--447505743.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdVA65Zi6vGdsv38GvzMz8CClw6j2qBoB9__tdU1AnDK0mNDUjW5js4FAhsgIPHL8oDEW3kKOoWdfGxABdH_rmgrwZ0FilSgU_b7ivXPyHwM9ocEVVFWz8Gro1vZkyZSXzRULTUFrw5Ag/s640/blogger-image--447505743.jpg"></a></div></div>MichaelaHazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10070690799260776137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635856535807082029.post-22775269604025222772014-08-07T13:44:00.005-07:002014-08-07T13:53:52.877-07:00Woodland Walk Vlog<br />
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Mark, Yuuki and Me</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Hi all,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This Saturday I decided to film a VLOG for the first time in our local woods. We normally walk there almost every weekend and Yuuki loves it!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">As you are aware, Yuuki and Mark are new additions to my videos as they have been in my life for the last two years (Mark for two and a half years and Yuuki for 9 months, technically)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Mark wasn't really into the whole vlogging thing but he slowly got into it and I think I would love to include him in some of my future vlogs and videos.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I am currently in the process of revamping my youtube channel - I have so many good ideas and want to run at this full steam. I have so many ideas for content and would love to start posting two or three times a week with normal content in the week and a vlog or two at the weekend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I hope you enjoy my vlogs - let me know in the comments section below.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Wibbly Wobbly</span></i></span></div>
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MichaelaHazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10070690799260776137noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8635856535807082029.post-79040524198965064242014-08-06T11:32:00.004-07:002014-08-07T13:51:28.641-07:00From Thin to Fat<h2>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">From Thin to Fat:</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Or the longer title: </span><i style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">How to be fat in a slim person's world</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Okay, so before I decided to start writing about this from my angle I sincerely searched the internet to see if this had been done before – and guess what I found?</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">So many slim people telling me how to dress my ‘fuller figure’</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">- </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> <b>sigh</b></span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Now, I fully accept that a fashion graduate who looks like they subsist on nothing but kale may have a brilliant perspective on loving your body as their</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> body confidence </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="SpellingError SCX80830239" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">vlogs</span></span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> tell me, but I can’t come to grips with this rip tide of </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">mixed </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">messages from fashion media.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Half of the world is trying to ‘fat shame’ me, telling me that I shouldn’t even exist in the eyes of the media. The curvier woman shouldn’t appear in a magazine,</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> full stop.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">H</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">eaven forbid that she want to see a plus size mannequin so that she knows how well a plus size outfit will look on a body. Sometimes you just don’t want to risk doing the embarrassing dance in the changing room, where you have that brief moment of horror wondering if that dress will actually undo or if you’ll have to cut yourself out like a fashion fire woman.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Here comes to commentary that I see on every Daily Mail article that involves a larger woman talking about body confidence – how dare she?! How dare she like herself</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> when she is so DISGUSTING</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">?!</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">No obese person wants to be obese. Loving you</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">rself is hard in a skinny body </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">and I</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> know; </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I WAS the skinny one! Imagine looking in the mirror and knowing that you COULD lose a little bit of weight, but hey! You’re a size </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">ten;</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> at least you’re not </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">that</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> fat! Now imagine that you’re so large that shaving your bikini line is a goddamn war zone. Yeah, lifting rolls of flab, completely re-positioning yourself from anything natural (more cirque de </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="SpellingError SCX80830239" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">solei</span></span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="SpellingError SCX80830239" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">l</span></span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">) you have no idea until you have a body that suddenly isn't normal, what it’s like to be obese.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Then come the fat </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="SpellingError SCX80830239" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">shamers</span></span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> – now, you may be reading this article thinking to yourself that I am glorifying fat and obesity and I am not. You just do not need to tell a 25 year old obes</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">e woman that she is fat, that she is</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> disgusting, and that she just needs to eat less and move more. WE DO NOT NEED TO HEAR THIS!</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I KNOW that I need to eat less and move more, telling me does not make it so. Telling me isn’t a magic cure that will make me skinny, all it does it make me more ashamed to be this way. I KNOW the way out of the hole but I just keep getting ‘distracted’</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> (for lack of </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">a better word) on the way up the ladder. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Every time someone states that an obese person is disgusting, killing </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">themselves with unhealthy food and need</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> to sort themselves out is doing no one any favours. Every overweight person has thought about themselves in this horrible way, and they have come up with more creative ways of doing it. I dare you to find an overweight/obese woman that hasn't cried in a dressing room, or over a photo that someone took of them in a bikini and felt that dark feeling in their head that said “Nothing seems to work, I just want to cut this bloody fat right off my bones!”</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Many people don’t realize that the journey to fat is littered with psychological reasons for weight gain, many subconscious. Some come from forms of childhood emotional abuse, a cry for </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">help. S</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">ome even come from the security of being fat. I feel that deep down, I don’t go to social gatherings, or risk being in a situation where I could be raped or insulted simply because I am fat. I know this isn’t true, and that fat women/men are just at risk but some deep down part of my psyche tells me I am safe because of this excess wobble on my body.</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> No one would want a fat girl.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">So next time you, as a skinny person, see an article, a blog or TV show about a larger person coming to terms with loving themselves – hold your tongue. The negative feedback, and awful comments you all have are just going to send me right back to the fridge to be honest. If I got support in this kind of forum it would probably go a long way to solving the psychological issues behind being fat in the first place. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Better yet, the next time you see a picture of a fat person, hold your tongue and think about the doctors and family members and friends that spend every </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">day making back</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">handed comments about their weight. They get it enough, just lay off. I am not saying </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">it’s</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> OKAY to be fat/overweight/obese, I am just telling you to think before you speak. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{cffb0f79-ff80-4199-ac74-564cbaececd1}{218}" paraid="901273454" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">If I could, I would put every naturally skim person in a bariatric suit so they could walk a mile in the flab. No one wants to be this way (no one mentally healthy) and we are not deluding ourselves that it’s okay. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">The horror of Plus Size fashion</span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">No offence to the fashion savvy ladies of the internet, but I am sick of being told how to dress my ‘fuller figure’ by someone that is dancing around in a size 8 dress two months after giving birth. Someone that shows glorious photos of cupcakes and mashed potatoes on pies followed quickly by a </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">selfie</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> of you wearing a bikini – that just doesn't sit right with me.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I LOVE plus size models, I love seeing how clothing fits on a curvier lady because you just generally have to have a different style and an entirely different outlook. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">When I went from a size 8 to size 16 over 3 years, I had to learn how to dress myself again. I had to learn how to shop. It’s been hard. What makes it worse is the amount of content out there that is absolutely no help to me. Unless you have sat on the pavement on a hot summers day with a silent smile (grimace) on your face because you forgot to put shorts on under your maxi dress and your thighs</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> are BURNING from r</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">ubbing together</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> – don’t tell me that this maxi dress is perfect for fuller figured ladies!</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{cffb0f79-ff80-4199-ac74-564cbaececd1}{238}" paraid="868079517" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Built in shorts and something that makes me look 3 sizes smaller! I’ll drop £200 in one go. Just because something covers you like a smock, does not make it ‘perfect’ for fuller figured ladies.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{cffb0f79-ff80-4199-ac74-564cbaececd1}{241}" paraid="147280201" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I am really not trying to be anti-skinny here – I am just angry. As a slim person I had my way of dressing, and you find a style that fits. It IS easier, as when you walk into a shop, more options will fit you. That’s not a lie, and that’s not being an angry fat girl. Slimmer people just generally have more options. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">From fear of promoting obesity</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> to simpl</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">y the cost of fabric, there must be a</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> reason that bigger sizes aren’t typically promoted in high street retailers.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">My story - Going super</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">size</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Many people</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> don’t realize that whilst it may seem like 3 years is a short amount of time, more often than not when you gain weight you don’t realize until you reach some sort of landmark where is smacks you right in the face. Honestly, because it can happen so gradually it can seem really scary as I didn't know what was making me fat. Food was making me fat, but I couldn't very well stop eating at this point.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I am the first person to admit that I have a really unhealthy relationship with food. I spent my time from the age of 13 to 20 as a size 8 (10 on a fat day) as a 5ft 7in lady, I was tall and even at 9 stone, I was very slim. My rib bones jutted out when I </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">lay</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> down, my ribs could be seen – and I bloody loved it!</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I had so many issues when I was younger, I was on anti-depressants when I turned 15 and that’s where it started. They took away my appetite and I dropped that last half of a stone that gave me a bit of wiggle and suddenly people asked me out. I was known as one of the hot girls, I could walk into any shop and pick up anything I liked and didn't even have to try it on.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I still have photos from my trip to Egypt aged 17. I looked like one of those celeb picture</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">s</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> on holiday – in my mind I was a whale, but looking at those pictures now fill me with a tingle of joy that it was </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">possible to be that slim!</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">If you looked at my diet and exercise back then, it wasn't any wonder how much I weighed. I would starve myself until lunch (just skipping breakfast) and drink two cartons of chocolate milk. In the evening, my mother (who also has a crap relationship with food) would force me to eat nothing but veggie soup and a roll as she was on some new slimming world/fat burning soup diet.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I did dance GSCE, I would spend about 45 minutes a day exercising at school, and then when I got home we could go for a powerwalk of up to around 3K – this happened 3 times a week. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Hunger was constant but a success, and a BIG part of me wishes I could go back to those days.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{23}" paraid="1034522264" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{35}" paraid="1742715319" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">At my smallest, I didn't eat until 6 at night every evening. My </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">college was so far away, about two bus journeys and I </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">had just</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> quit my job at the local convenience store. My depression was getting so bad that I couldn't even go to work on most days. I quit when they wouldn't let me go home when I was having an episode. I locked myself in this bathroom and pretended to have food poisoning. </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{35}" paraid="1742715319" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{35}" paraid="1742715319" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">With the bus far</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">e</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> and having no money, I couldn't physically afford to eat and that suited me fine. I remember one day when everyone went to </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="SpellingError SCX80830239" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Nandos</span></span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> and they all ate bowls full of chicken, chips and rice, and I just sat ther</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">e. I had no money. The girls had</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> a knowing look in their eyes, like they knew I was anorexic, like it was some cool commodity. Depression and an eating disorder apparently made me really cool in Art College.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{35}" paraid="1742715319" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{38}" paraid="1140267633" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Not to be in denial but I never had an eating disorder. My medication took away my appetite full stop. I was never doing it on purpose, not really. That didn't mean that I couldn't love the effects of being thin.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{43}" paraid="1435520245" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Then I came off my medication, and it started, very specifically, with a red pepper and tomato soup at my local campus. I always loved the smell of that soup when I walked past and I had just gotten a new job as well</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">, so I actually had money for lunch</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">. That soup was the first thing I started eating, at this point I still wasn't that hungry during the day, but soup was fine.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{43}" paraid="1435520245" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{46}" paraid="2107127463" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">You can see it in the photos – over three months, I gained one and a half stone just by going back to eating food. In my mind, I was still the same but in the pictures it painted a very different picture.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{54}" paraid="1263824695" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">In my mind, I was still a heal</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">thy size ten. Little did I know I was getting FAT!</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> Capital letters needed here.</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> It wasn't until 2012, in May. Two years after I came off my medication, two years of </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">thinking I was a</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> normal human being. </span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{54}" paraid="1263824695" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{63}" paraid="1340821394" style="padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I asked my boyfriend to take a photo of me in my bikini so I could anticipate the holiday photos. We </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">were leaving </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">for Kos the next day. I really shouldn't have done it. </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">In my imaginary reality</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> I was still slim, although I KNEW I wasn't as thin as I was.</span></span></div>
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<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{66}" paraid="1367087419" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{70}" paraid="290756597" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I still believed myself to be attractive. I didn't want to see what was there.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I have gained around 5 stone in total from the day I came off my medication to that point. Two years and five stone. I wonder how I didn't take a good hard look at myself before that point and as I start, it hits you like a landmine - or something I call, the fat shovel!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Mark showed me the photo of myself, and I sobbed. Gone were the smooth lines of my stomach and all I could see were stretch marks everywhere: on my muffin top, on the tops of my saddle bags, and my boobs. My stomach was no longer flat but sat in rolls on my body. The thin area of my pubis was sunken in compared to the pouch of my lower stomach that sagged and covered it.</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> The day before my first holiday with my partner and it broke my heart.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{73}" paraid="745796356" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I sobbed for hours.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{73}" paraid="745796356" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
</div>
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<div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX80830239" style="font-size: 8px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{78}" paraid="1865979880" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">Now don’t tell me that a size 8 woman knows how to dress a fuller figure. She has never looked at her arms in a photo and wished she could just </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"><span class="SpellingError SCX80830239" style="background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-position: 0% 100%; background-repeat: repeat-x; border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">photoshop</span></span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> herself out of it. She’s never bought a pair of jeans that have actually split up the bum seam when she’s bent over.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<div class="Paragraph SCX80830239" paraeid="{a2263e59-47d0-4381-b988-36f220c82588}{83}" paraid="788027250" style="color: windowtext; font-size: 6pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">I am </span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB">fine</span><span class="TextRun SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" xml:lang="EN-GB"> with you telling me what’s fashionable – but never pretend that you understand, because you don’t.</span><span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="EOP SCX80830239" style="font-size: 11pt; line-height: 20px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><i>Wibbly Wobbly</i></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG13SVb5LEOqhzGnkhnxW0pere32ri7z6z6oSNz7GHgVB0sn0MwC9-k_gz4i8KsAnxeeDjQte-YNepIEwqYdUdxFswq1Q5JDTQoDw5_EJJE28bjvk1XWyf4AtNNhussf4s3r0SA7bM_oo/s1600/3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG13SVb5LEOqhzGnkhnxW0pere32ri7z6z6oSNz7GHgVB0sn0MwC9-k_gz4i8KsAnxeeDjQte-YNepIEwqYdUdxFswq1Q5JDTQoDw5_EJJE28bjvk1XWyf4AtNNhussf4s3r0SA7bM_oo/s1600/3.png" height="307" width="320" /></a></div>
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MichaelaHazehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10070690799260776137noreply@blogger.com0